summer musings

summer is slowly switching places with spring and i’m relishing the warmer days. spring and summer have slow danced together this may, some days hot and steamy like august, others chilly and damp like early april. now, though, summer seems to have taken the lead and is bringing us all into long warm days and short, slightly cooler nights.

i spent may in work mode, preparing for the start of the fall semester – getting all my ducks in a row. now, as my contract winds down, i find myself look toward the next two months of summer freedom and thinking about what i want to do. earlier this week my thoughts mostly resembled a ticker tape to-do list; one project following after another: research and select a theoretical framework, complete the IRB process for my photo-elicitation pilot study, intern with the GLBT center. and while these are all projects that i want to work on, i realized this weekend that when i thought of my to-do list, i felt stressed and apathetic. in pondering why, i’ve come to the conclusion that my to-do list isn’t fun. it doesn’t involve any of the things i love most about summer. no playing, no moments by the pool, no cook-outs with friends. my to-do list is all work and no play. and after a semester that essentially left me feeling that i’d been dragged through hell and back, i need some time to play.

in realizing that i want to play, i’ve also figured out that i don’t simply want to create another “play” list – one where i check off activities accomplished and move on to the next. i want to relish these summer days, to sit out in my yard with my dog and drink in the quiet, i want to appreciate the day to day progress of my sunflowers and tomato plants, i want to sit by the pool and listent to the quiet lap of the water, i want to float in the water and watch the clouds change shape. i want to savor the quiet moments. in these musings, i’m beginning to understand that i don’t want to have a long list of activities to list off when i get the inevitable question, “what did you do this summer”. instead, i want to be able to say in all truthfulness that i savored every minute of my time; i relaxed and i feel rejuvenated.

so, my summer plans are to work on my projects and relish the calm. here’s to soft summer breezes, warmth, the smell of sunscreen, and quiet moments.

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